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The Labour Party is restricting something that has been around for 3000 years. No, not disillusioned Labour voters. Porn. New laws mean you must be over 18 to watch it, but you can, some might say, still be under 18 to experience it on an island with Prince Andrew.


An unforeseen consequence is that Spotify and YouTube will be censored, but Mrs Brown's Boys will not. You will have to submit all your personal details to access harmful content, a bit like electing Starmer in the first place.


Of course, teenagers will circumvent the system by using a VPN. While Boomers will confuse it with Visible Panty Line. The dark web is set to expand, which is great news if you are an illegal drugs start up.


So no children will be safer as a result, but we will have better access to a Russian blackmailer of your choice.


image from pixabay



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Boomer Bob Bridlington boomed 'In my day, you could get a mortgage on a 4 bedroom house with just a firm handshake. And that is because you couldn't get smashed avocado on toast. That is a scientific fact. And anyone who disagrees is awake.'


'What I hate about Gen Z and youngsters in general is how they will outlive me and potentially, get hold of all the wealth I have been hoarding.'


'Bring back National Service - and hanging! I never had to do National Service, but it'll be good for them. Unlike hanging, which is too good for them.'


Gen Z's Tara Taylor said 'I'm going to smash this avocado in his face.'



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