Pensioners on the breadline

November 17th: Homemade Bread day in the UK

Treasure trove of bread recipes discovered

The world of the ancient craft of turning flour and water into food is in a state of heated excitement after news of a bakery sealed in time being discovered.

In a rundown remote building in Yorkshire hundreds of previously considered lost recipes for a myriad of bread products were found. Investigations concluded the establishment closed for half-day Wednesday over a century ago and never reopened. Experts in the field of carbohydrate antiquities believe the find to the most significant discovery ever, and named the treasure The Ilkley Hoard.

Recipes were found carved into the bakery’s wooden beams, scrawled on the walls and ceiling, and written into a very delicate filo pastry manual with strong tea ink, called The Book of the Bread. The precise location of the bakery is a closely guarded secret, but due to the accumulation of mills, bakeries and bread shops of historical interest the wider area has been dubbed the Valley of the Bakings.

Head Curator Martin Gartside from the British Butty Museum explains: “The Ilkley Hoard roughly doubles the one hundred and thirty seven recipes for bread products currently on sale in the north of England. Recipes previously thought lost in time lost have been rediscovered, including: the Halfwheat Dinkle, Middlle-Oven Whelper, the Knob-Wobbler’s Cobbler, the baguette-shaped Parson’s Promise, and a huge flat barm known as a ‘Coalman’s Cushion’.

“Then there’s the traditional Easter favourite: the Saviour’s Hand, five iced fingers stuck to a muffin with a flake pushed through the middle. Also ‘working’ bread, like the Waterproof Margaret: an edible square bread pouch specifically baked for another sandwich to fit inside to keep dry, and the Lazy Plumber’s Mop: a loaf so absorbent it easily soaks up two pints of gravy without the slightest structural degradation.”

Gartside added: “Alongside other products of protected geographical significance, such as Champagne and Cheddar cheese,‘ Appellation d’origine contrôlée f’t loaf’ status has been awarded to the Ilkley Milkley. The importance of the Hoard cannot be underestimated, and this find downgrades the contents of King Tut’s tomb to little more than the gubbins you’d find at the back of a rat catcher’s shed.”

image from pixabay