Adam and Eve, the current heads of the Garden of Eden shortly, will take over on 1 September and The Serpent will be cursed to crawl on its belly as executive chairman.
The Serpent will stay as chief executive through the summer to work with Adam and Eve on the transition from nudity, to being fully clothed. After that it will "assist with certain aspects such as banishment from the garden, introducing death and manual labour".
This follows months of speculation that the Apple comes from the Tree of Knowledge, and eating it would make Adam and Eve "like God," knowing good and evil.
The Serpent described having the Apple as "the greatest privilege of my life" and during his tenure he led the fruit to become one of the most valuable in the world.
It described Eve as a "visionary", adding "Eve is without question the right person to take the Apple lead humanity into the future".
'I am filled with optimism about what we can achieve in the years to come,' Adam said.
'I am very thankful for everything the Serpent has done and I am very thankful for the Apple.'
Photo by The Cleveland Museum of Art on Unsplash
There is always one thing at Christmas that turns out to be the ‘must have’ present and is nowhere to be found.
Remember searching for that Tracy Island toy, or Pokémon, or Cabbage Patch dolls?
Everyone is afflicted, even the Prime Minister. Keir Starmer’s top team are scouring all the shopping centres inside the M25 on his behalf. And Keir himself has taken a long lunch break to search the shops on Oxford Street in London. All to no avail.
Keir is desperately searching for the perfect Christmas gift for the UK electorate. It is called ‘good news’, but this has been in very short supply since June 2024. Keir has come close to finding some good news, but at the last minute it is always snatched from his grasp. He’s even tried sourcing good news from overseas, but without success.
The ending of the two-child cap seems like good news, but if you don’t also raise the benefits cap, then it’s not as good as it looks. Supporting our pubs seems like good news, but successive hikes in minimum wage and whacking up business rates have ruined that one. Inflation coming down seems like good news, but if the price of food keeps going up, then that’s not so good. Reducing electricity bills by £150 also seems like good news, but if you then load on all the costs of upgrading the national grid, then the good work is undone.
So, the search continues. Good luck, Keir. Only seven more shopping days to Christmas...
image from pixabay