Two pound coin dropped down the side of your driver's seat continues to goad you

The two pound coin you dropped down the side of your car seat last week is mocking you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

It made its move at McDonald's drive-thru window on Thursday as you were counting out the cash for your order.

You’d already handed the spotty youth three pounds-ninety and were passing the coin to him when it fell from your hand and disappeared down that really narrow crack between the edge of your seat and the dividing bulkhead separating yours from the passenger seat.

Despite pissing off everybody in the queue for a full three minutes as you tried to retrieve it, you were forced to admit defeat and reluctantly pay by card instead. So far attempts to locate it, let alone get at it, have failed miserably and all you have to show for your efforts are scuffed knuckles, despite trying for two hours yesterday morning.

Service Technician Dave Clifford explains. ‘Modern cars are designed so that if you do drop anything between the seats, it simply cannot be retrieved without having special tools to dismantle the whole front half of your cockpit. More often than not that’s going to be a total rebuild, sometimes costing thousands.

‘Fact is, you may try, but you’ll fail miserably. It’s simply impossible,’ he laughs.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/mikes-photography-1860391/

Motor mechanics move to reduce the number of face to face repairs

Following the threat of strike action by GPs, the government has backed down on its insistence that GPs conduct more face to face appointments.

The BMMA (British Motor Mechanics Association) has hailed this as a common sense decision and now intends to encourage its members to reduce the number of face to face repairs it conducts and increase the number of telephone repairs.

'They should have done this a long time ago,' said Denise Higgins, a former Pirelli calendar model who now works as a receptionist for A1 Motor Repairs. 'I'm fed up with customers telling me they remember me from the 1997 edition of the calendar and can they have a look at my legs again.

'It wouldn't be so bad if the customers washed their engines before bringing their cars in to be serviced, but I'm expected to wash the tea mugs up at the end of the day and there's nothing worse than having to clean the grease off them.'

She went on to say that there is no car fault these days that can't be repaired by using a phone app alongside a telephone appointment with an automotive technician. 'If someone thinks their motor has a problem, they only need to send us a photo of the engine and the technician can email them a prescription they can take to a motor factor to collect the parts needed.'

Josh Williams a senior automotive technician who now dresses in a cream suit in anticipation that the days of getting his hands dirty are over added, 'It enables us to branch out into telephone servicing of other things like boilers and washing machines, so it makes good business sense all round.

'We'll still ask anyone with something like a Lambourghini or McLaren to fetch it in and leave it with us, obviously. The lads would go on strike if they didn't didn't have something flash to go on dates in.'

Something Similar	It's a gift	Something Different
Tesla drivers overtake Audi drivers as the biggest pricks on UK roads	Make someone very happy	Your new house share inmate not fitting in how you hoped she might

Mexican standoff at Weston-super-Mare roundabout reaches third day

The drivers of three Nissan Micras who have all been giving way to each other at a mini-roundabout in Weston-Super-Mare have been given emergency rations by concerned locals as their stand-off passes the three day mark.

The three vehicles all reached the mini-roundabout from different directions at the same time on Friday afternoon, and all gave way to each other. 'I can't go until the car approaching the roundabout from my right has cleared the junction,' explained one of the drivers, 92-year-old Arnold Jenkins, 'but she can't go until the car coming from her right has gone, and he can't go until I've gone. I think we're going to be stuck here forever, and I'm running low on boiled sweets.'

A resolution was almost reached early on Sunday morning, as one of the Micras amazed onlookers by taking the initiative and edging forwards a couple of feet, but unfortunately the other two also edged forward at the same time, narrowly missing each other by about twenty feet before reversing back to their original positions. 'It was pretty scary' confirmed Micra driver Wendy Turner, 81. 'Another five minutes of edging forward painfully slowly and it could have been carnage out there.'

The other Micra driver, 88-year-old Brian Hill, said that he had tried beeping his horn at one point, but to no avail. 'I gave it a good toot, just the one mind, but it didn't do any good. Those other two drivers must be deaf. I would have looked to see whether they had hearing aids, but as I can barely see past my bonnet I didn't bother.'

Hollywood director Quentin Tarantino, who includes Mexican standoffs in practically all of his films, said he liked the new twist and would consider putting a mini-roundabout in his next movie, as long as the Micras could be replaced with vintage Cadillacs, he could think of a suitably inappropriate yet cool soundtrack and the standoff could end with all three drivers shooting each other in the eye.

A spokesman for Avon and Somerset police advised motorists to avoid the area for the foreseeable future, although he was hopeful that the problem might be resolved on pension day, when all three drivers are likely to start muscling everyone and everything out of their way to get the front of the Post Office queue.