Supervet Storm: 'Your cat craps in your neighbour's garden deliberately.'

TV Supervet, Sean Flaherty, has ruffled the fur of the nation's cat lovers by insisting their beloved moggies are 'sly, sneaky, self-centred little feckers that love to shit in your neighbour's flowerbeds just for the craic.'

'Cats are genetically programmed with an inbuilt sense of malice,' explains Flaherty, 'only responding to humans when their owners stand banging a can of cat food with a spoon, shouting the cat’s name in some stupid high-pitched voice they imagine is endearing.

'But once they have eaten the food, with no more to gain by even so much as acknowledging anyone’s existence, they pull the drawbridge up. Arrogant bastards. That's what they are.

'They fully understand the minefield of inter-neighbour politics and really get off on upsetting this dynamic by never shitting on their own doorsteps, but by doing their business on next door's instead.'

We spoke to Tiddles, one malicious moggy who purred, 'I love the buzz of getting my owner into trouble, by pissing in anyone else's garden but his, for example.

'Last week I caused quite a scene when he came out shouting the odds at the new next-door neighbour who had tried to shoot me with a BB gun after I shat all over then dug up his prize geraniums.

'How was I to know the neighbour is a professional wrestler and would end up knocking seven bells out of my poor ickle-wickle owner?'

Picture credit: Wix AI

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M-G-M failed to act over historic claims of Tom the Cat's 'Mouse Jiggling'

Informal concerns raised about Tom the Cat's actions while he starred in Hanna-Barbera features were 'not properly escalated or adequately addressed', according to the findings of an investigation.

The cartoon feline fronted films including The Cat Concerto, Heavenly Puss and Solid Serenade in the 1940's and 50's.

An investigation by the production company has said managers were alerted to allegations that he dangled mice by their tails, hit puppies with base ball bats, and on one occasion gave a you kangaroo a lit stick of dynamite to hold. His behaviour made female housekeepers feel uncomfortable, and intimidated.

However, no formal complaints were made and the concerns were not escalated.

M-G-M said: 'We are extremely sorry to anyone who was impacted by this behaviour and felt unable to speak up or that their voice was not properly heard, partly because it was provided by Mel Blanc.'

Tom strongly denied the allegations, saying his relationships have 'always' been consensual, reciprocal and , 'just a bit of bantz'.

A report quoted a former film maker as saying the cat's pursuit of other characters for violence was reported to production managers, but their concerns were dismissed.

The researcher said, 'They get away with it little by little, and then a little bit more. It's time these animators learned where to draw the line' Jerry is yet to comment, but Tom claims he is a victim of Mee-ow Too'.

Image: Mohamed_hassan - Pixabay