Chancellor makes all taxes optional

In a surprise announcement Chancellor Rishi Sunak has said that as of Monday, all taxes will be optional.

"This expands our existing policies", explained Mr Sunak. "Up until now, optional taxes were available to the Royal family, my wife and other very rich people but now, people will be able to choose whether or not to pay taxes."

The new policy has experienced some teething problems; with long queues at shops as customers debate whether they have to pay VAT.

Chris Grayling has been seen arguing at a book shop that he shouldn't pay the 0% tax on his purchases and demanding a refund.

Lord Lebedev added, "Я люблю брать деньги у британских идиотов."

Credit Squeeze Taxation Purse - Free photo on Pixabay

Budget has something for everyone, says Sunak

The chancellor was quick to defend his Spring budget today saying it had something for absolutely everyone.

'As always, most of the measures in my budget will benefit the richest most. But I haven't forgotten everyone else. The squeezed middle will be squeezed again, and the most needy in society - well they'll get something too - increased debt, minimal increases in benefits, and the biggest fall in living standards for a couple of generations'.

'And don't forget the annual conundrum I've gifted to the most vulnerable in society once again - how are they going to make ends meet?'.

Image: Pixabay/csamhamer

Sunak helps out