New series of Hunted to feature escaped criminals

With 262 prisoners released in error, the government has begged C4 to find them again. The new series will show understaffed prison guards leaving doors unlocked, while elite bounty hunters catch the criminals with large butterfly nets.

There has been a 50% increase in accidental releases, which means no need for cakes baked with files in them. In fact, there are more criminals now living in the wild than beavers.

Said one hunter: 'In theory these molestors and crooks could be anywhere, but in practise most are in the Labour cabinet.'

image from google gemini

Channel 4 launch new 'Naked Hotel Shower Controls' gameshow

Channel 4 has announced a new gameshow where members of the public choose a shower cubicle that contains a shower unit modelled on one of the thousands of shower variants used in British hotels, disrobes, enters the cubicle and works out how to start the shower and set the temperature while being filmed by upwards of twenty cameras.

'British hotel shower controls are notoriously difficult to operate and extremely variable in terms of the way they work - is it a push, pull or twist, if the latter, which way?' said a commissioning editor at Channel 4.  'Obviously the participants will be naked for as long as it takes he or she to soap all over, rinse off and wash their hair, including conditioner,' he added.

The show is open to men and women of all ages, 'but we prefer women, of course,' he added.  The show isn't about gratuitous nudity, the channel argues, but is a fun vehicle to educate the viewers on the myriad ways showers in British hotels operate, 'with a little bit of fun stress thrown in,' said the editor.

The Palace refused to comment on rumours that Prince Andrew has offered to host a junior version of the show.

Photo by kevin Baquerizo on Unsplash

C4 poaches Boat Race from the BBC