Chinese Spy Ring infiltrated by useless MPs

The UK government had been forced to deny the charge, that Beijing espionage has been disrupted by Barry Gardiner completely failing to influence events or wield any kind of power.

A Beijing spokeswoman said: ‘It soon became apparent that not one of these idiot MPs knew any secrets worth a damn. We’ve squandered millions in bribes, only to discover that your average UK politician has all the pull of a toddler on a tug of war team’.

Image: Pixabay/Mary_R_Smith

First published 15 Jan 2022

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People's Democratic Republic of America flirts with concept of democracy

'Sure, why not?' said Secretary General Dick Traitorship. 'When we overthrow the evil Democrat leadership in a military coup by storming the Capitol Building and the White House, we will restore some form of free and fair election system.

'The main problem with democracy is the electorate. Despite all the evidence that their votes count for nothing, some people still can't stop themselves voting for a Democrat Dictatorship. They seriously fear freedom, which I know many will find hard to comprehend outside the People's Democratic Republic of America.

'It might sound ridiculous to some, perhaps even like a dangerous thing to say, but we need to be more open, fair and progressive. Like Russia, China and North Korea.

'We must continue to support and revere our Most Benevolent General Secretary of the Republican Party, Donald Jesus Trump. He will 'fix' everything, put an end to people ageing and dying, and instantly bring world peace. He is the only one who can lead a glorious revolution and install a Thousand Year Democracy in this great land.'

image from pixabay