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The ongoing trade war between China and the Trump administration looks set to end abruptly after the Chinese government dealt Donald Trump a devastating blow. The Chinese government has purchased the majority shares in every single golf tee manufacturing company on the planet, and has decided to move all golf tee production to China.



With the new tariffs set by Trump, the price of a set of four standard golf tees has risen from around $3 to around $8. On top of that, China has decided to set a blanket export tax for all goods from China to the USA, of $20,000. Therefore, a set of four standard golf tees will cost the flatulent President, $20,008 each.


Upon receiving the news, and with no golf tees to take to Scotland when he visits the King on his second state visit to the UK, President Trump issued the following statement:


‘I love the Chinese. I love the Chinese people, I love the Chinese culture, I love the Chinese food. They’re a nation of great wall builders – fantastic walls. You know they have a wall you can see from space? With the naked eye, from space you can see their walls – fantastic walls – fantastic people. And crackers to die for – I love their crackers.


Honestly, I wish we could build walls like the Chinese – a very proud people. Very proud of their walls’.


The world waits and watches with baited breath to see what the results of this power move from the Chinese will be.


image from pixabay


Elon Musk has asked all US government employees (except the ones already on gardening leave) to list their accomplishments, or face the sack.


In an unusual act of reciprocity, Elon's office has set out his recent achievements, which are as follows:


  •  I got my dad to lend me million dollars to start a company - how many of you have done that, huh?

  •  I won a chainsaw from Argentina.

  •  I got everyone’s personal data from US government records – useful for the X algorithms

  •  I’m supporting far right parties in Europe, although I can’t remember why

  •  I blew up a number of SpaceX rockets to distract attention away from Jeff Bezos

  •  I’m working to save Twitter, by wrecking TikTok

  •  I will have a successful car company, if I can get tariffs imposed on my Chinese competitors

  •  I’m in good with Donald, which gets me favourable treatment on lots of things

  •  I’m promoting free speech on X, especially mine


Picture credit: Wix AI

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