MP angry at spy offering bribe, not the actual bribe

The House of Commons has rebuked China for offering them pretend sex and money instead of legitimate sex and money. Said one Minister. 'If I'm going to be embroiled in a scandal, I don't want it be a fake sex trafficked teenager, I want the real thing.'

MI5 warned that politicians could be coerced into giving away the nation's secrets, instead of selling them off to the first lobbyist they see. 'China has muddied the waters, by corrupting our already corrupt MPs, meaning our politicians might actually get into trouble.'

A Minister said. 'These bribes are outrageous. And so small!'