'It's not worth taking the decorations down now'

A significant minority of UK households still have their Christmas decorations up. With the start of Christmas occurring earlier and earlier, many British citizens are arguing that unless the decorations are taken down on Boxing Day at the latest it's hardly worth the effort of stripping them down, removing all the batteries, boxing them up, carrying them up to the attic and putting them in front of the boxes holding the Easter bunnies and the Halloween artifacts. 

'By the time I've taken them up I'll be moving all the boxes to gain access to the Easter tat,' said Bill today. 'Then before you know it the skeletons, plastic pumpkins and the tacky Halloween wreaths will need to be brought out, then - wham! it's August and the Christmas tree needs to be pushed back into use,' Bill added.  'So I leave the tree up all year round.  It frees up a load of space in the attic for other stuff like the sofa, armchairs and plants.  A bit of a win-win, really,' he said.

Mutiny over the Bounties - Man 'bewildered' by absence of treats

A Warrington man has described his sense of bafflement on discovering a complete dearth of chocolate oranges, mince pies, alcoholic drinks and confectionery.

'I went to the usual place', he told reporters 'but there were just a couple of little Bounties. I don't like them. Nobody does. I think they only include them as a desperation test'.

Scientists have described the state of his cupboards as 'normal' and suggested something called 'normality' - an interesting concept but unlikely to catch on.

Search engines have reported millions of queries of 'How long till next Christmas?' alongside questions about career moves and offers to swap little Bounties for something edible.

The next Bank Holiday is expected in around 40 years' time.

Image: Alexas_Fotos - Pixabay

Traditions: Saturnalia - the Lord of Misrule