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Nurses release their Christmas charity single eight months early



After the rejection of the latest pay offer by members, and in anticipation of strikes until the end of the year, the nurses union has just released its charity Christmas single, eight months early.


A spokesperson said that the money from sales of the single will be used to help nurses with their food and energy bills.


The charity single is a reworking of the 12 days of Christmas and celebrates daily life in the NHS. The lyrics are as follows


On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Twelve lawsuits coming

Eleven MPs sniping

Ten doctors beeping

No pay financing

Eight nurses wilting

Seven bedpans brimming

Six patients paying

Five cold meals

Four bawling babs

Three French SRNs

Two rubber gloves

And a single doctor left in A&E


The nurses union explained that the song is ‘just a bit of fun’ and that NHS patients should not expect to see ten doctors when they visit hospital, unless there is a picket line. They also wanted to make clear that NHS food is usually served hot (or lukewarm for meetings about pay negotiations) and is very nutritious. The reference to five cold meals is about the food at weekends and bank holidays, when another tray of sandwiches and a banana can feel a bit disappointing.



First published 23 April 2023


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Scientists have described the state of his cupboards as 'normal' and suggested something called 'normality' - an interesting concept but unlikely to catch on.


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The next Bank Holiday is expected in around 40 years' time.


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