The irony that concert ticket resale sites claim a plan to force them to sell at face value will drive fans to buy from unscrupulous sources at inflated prices, has stunned almost no one.
Eric Spivly, spokesman for the some say exploitative and seedy industry association said: 'It's crazy. If this is passed it means soon we'll be no longer able to fleece the public legally. The days of striping gullible mugs £6,000 for Adele, Swifty or other big acts' shows will be gone. How are our directors going to maintain millionaire lifestyles then? Penthouses and boats in Monte Carlo don't pay for themselves you know.
'It's the public I feel sorry for,' added Spivly, with not even a hint of sanctimony. 'If they can't buy tickets off us at eyewatering prices after our bots have hoovered them all up minutes after release, it will see the true fans having to go to independent operators outside the venues just like the bad old days. Sometimes these unlicenced chancers have been known to charge up to £250.'
When reporters asked Spivly if he'd ever heard the word "irony" before, he replied, 'Stop changing the subject. I know nothing about scrap metal.'
