Although Liz Truss has not yet stepped into the soggy loafers of Boris Johnson at the helm of a sinking Britain, its people are already sick and tired of her.
Marjorie Dale from Bournemouth summed up the national mood with the words, 'Oh, for God's sake, will someone shut that gibbering moron up. She has less charisma than a melted jelly, all the appeal of an anus full of weevils, and more whine than Oddbins.'
Brenda from Bristol did not need to say a word.
You slap your pay freeze in
You whip your pay freeze out
In, out, in, out?
Flip flop all about
Piss off the public sector
And U-turn around
That's what she’s all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, she’s in a tizzy
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Tone deaf
Off-key
Ra-ra-ra
You put your cheese deals in
Your pull your pork deals out
In, out, in, out?
Churn it all about
Sign some pointless trade deals
Deny they’ve bid you down
That's what she’s all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, that Brie is fizzy
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Arse from
Elbow?
Ra-ra-ra
Campaign for EU: In
Reverse to EU: Out
In, out, in, out?
Call them Frogs and Krauts
Do whatever wins you
All the centre ground
That's what she's all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, spin-doctor busy
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Arm out
Salute
Ja-ja-ja
You drive your big tank in
Can’t find the exit out
In, out, in, out?
Wander aimlessly about
You do the walk of shame
Spinning round and round
That's what she’s all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, that fit is hissy
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
This way?
That way?
Ha-ha-ha!
The Lib Dems let you in
The Tories lure you out
In, out, in, out?
Flirt your way about
Yellow, blue or bloodied
Wave your flag around
That's what she's all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Just how loyal is she?
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Pants down
Arse kiss
Mwah-mwah-mwah
You promise spending up
You promise taxes down
Up, down, up, down?
What a fiscal clown
You’ll send inflation soaring
Living standards down
That's what she’s all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, she’s telling fibbies
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Morals bent
Truth stretched
Ra-ra-ra
You stick the dagger in
Leak the cartoon out
In, out, in, out-
Stab it all about
You slag off your opponent
Lose any moral ground
That’s what she’s all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, she’s stabbing Rishi
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Arm back
Knife in
Far-far-far
They’re going to vote her in?!
It’s going to be a rout?!
In, in, in, in-
Please be in no doubt
The country’s going up shit creek
With no paddles found
That's what she's all about
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
Woah, it’s getting schizzy
Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy
I’m f*cked
You’re f*cked
Waa-waa-waa
[Repeat through tears, praying for sweet release]
'We're looking to the future,' suggested a Conservative spokesman today, explaining that the next Prime Minister will be different from the last Prime Minister despite both supporting the last Prime Minister through thick and thin - mainly thick to be honest. 'Whoever wins the ballot will be different because until now they haven't had a chance to influence the way the country is run,' added the spokesman, who also admitted he'd previously been a gag writer for Nadine Dorries and really didn't know what that appendage in the middle of his arm was for. 'Pooping?' he asked.
