Truss launches ‘Hokey Cokey’ manifesto, briefly




You slap your pay freeze in

You whip your pay freeze out

In, out, in, out?

Flip flop all about

Piss off the public sector

And U-turn around

That's what she’s all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, she’s in a tizzy

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Tone deaf

Off-key

Ra-ra-ra


You put your cheese deals in

Your pull your pork deals out

In, out, in, out?

Churn it all about

Sign some pointless trade deals

Deny they’ve bid you down

That's what she’s all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, that Brie is fizzy

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Arse from

Elbow?

Ra-ra-ra


Campaign for EU: In

Reverse to EU: Out

In, out, in, out?

Call them Frogs and Krauts

Do whatever wins you

All the centre ground

That's what she's all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, spin-doctor busy

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Arm out

Salute

Ja-ja-ja


You drive your big tank in

Can’t find the exit out

In, out, in, out?

Wander aimlessly about

You do the walk of shame

Spinning round and round

That's what she’s all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, that fit is hissy

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

This way?

That way?

Ha-ha-ha!


The Lib Dems let you in

The Tories lure you out

In, out, in, out?

Flirt your way about

Yellow, blue or bloodied

Wave your flag around

That's what she's all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Just how loyal is she?

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Pants down

Arse kiss

Mwah-mwah-mwah


You promise spending up

You promise taxes down

Up, down, up, down?

What a fiscal clown

You’ll send inflation soaring

Living standards down

That's what she’s all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, she’s telling fibbies

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Morals bent

Truth stretched

Ra-ra-ra


You stick the dagger in

Leak the cartoon out

In, out, in, out-

Stab it all about

You slag off your opponent

Lose any moral ground

That’s what she’s all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, she’s stabbing Rishi

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Arm back

Knife in

Far-far-far


They’re going to vote her in?!

It’s going to be a rout?!

In, in, in, in-

Please be in no doubt

The country’s going up shit creek

With no paddles found

That's what she's all about

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

Woah, it’s getting schizzy

Woah, the Dizzy Lizzy

I’m f*cked

You’re f*cked

Waa-waa-waa

[Repeat through tears, praying for sweet release]


Image: Pixabay/aitoff

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