New conspiracy theory suggests Queen's 2012 Olympic parachute jump was fake

'Typical load of cobblers' a spokesman for the Palace stated. 'Probably concocted by some wretched republican halfwit.  The originator of this outrageous theory is liable to charge of treason, and imprisonment in The Tower.'

Slightly more credible is another conspiracy theory, which accepts that the Queen, obviously, did do the jump (she wasn't the kind of person who would duck out of a challenge, or willingly participate in any kind of deception) but that a stuntman had to take the place of Daniel 'James Bond' Craig. This was because the film company's insurers weren't prepared to underwrite the risk of exposing such a valuable actor to that degree of danger.

A member of the late queen's household later revealed that, in private, Her Majesty had subsequently described the event as 'A bit of a doddle, really.  It wasn't as if it was even pissing down with rain or anything.  I have a Prime Minister, remember, who can carry out any necessary public performances in the rain when needed.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

How come Dodgy Dave is back?

Conspiracy theorists warn Brexit may force it to close UK operation

Conspiracy theorists have called on the government to renegotiate part of the Brexit deal or risk losing parts of its conspiracy industry.

Amid concerns over the cost of living generally; and in particular the effect that increased cost of energy is having on aluminium foil production, they are concerned that people may soon be unable to afford to make tin foil hats.

“The dangers are obvious” said a leading conspiracy theorist. “If people can’t afford to replace their foil hats, but somehow manage to get by without them, like they’ve had to do with fresh food, it will put greater pressure on the already stressed NHS.”

The Association of Aluminium Foil Suppliers, which includes names such as Aldi, Sainsburys and Tesco have added their weight to the discussion, by saying that they really don’t care what people use aluminium foil for, but if they find the ridiculous profits they make from the product decline, they will naturally have to hike the prices of other products to compensate.

image from pixabay

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