Updated: Jan 11
Excited patients are expected to queue all night for the sale, which will prepare them for future queues to see a GP. Richard Branson is said to be looking forward a cut price NHS, given he already offers 90% off all morals and ethics.
The NHS will be sold by Amazon under the Health category, alongside nutrient bars and vibrating eggs. If you are out, the delivery service will throw an entire operating theatre into your neighbour's garden.
Those who clapped for the NHS will get a 10% discount coupon, at the checkout. But only Amazon Prime members will be able to access future surgeries, under their 'Prime Cuts' package.
Two years ago Jeremy Corbyn predicted this sale but he also said there would be 75% off the new iPhone - so you win some, you lose some. Meanwhile, the Government insisted that if the sale did not go ahead: 'there was always Ebay'.