top of page
Journalists are struggling to find metaphors to sum up the government's appalling handling of the ongoing RAAC crisis.
One leader writer for The Guardian commented, 'There's just nothing to work with, the government is crumbling over this thing, slowly deteriorating and falling apart and we just can't link it to this failing school infrastructure story. They're probably all pissed at another bring a bottle party'
While another reporter observed, 'We are literally racking our brains on coming up with zingers, I mean what do we know about Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete, we're not engineers who think they're funny.'
A colleague added, 'The Prime Minister has poor support and needs replacing, surely old construction material issues can be combined with that for a catchy one liner. It's so frustrating. '
After several cups of coffee and staring at his blank screen for two hours The Editor finally said: ' I know what about this as our front page? Super-Fragile-Bad-Logistics-Sunak-is-atrocious.'
Following criticism of the government's handling of the COVID pandemic, the civil service has building up reserves of headless chickens.
A spokesman explained; "As most of the government had caught COVID from an unknown blonde, idiot conman, there was a severe shortage of chinless wonders to run around in circles in the early stages of the pandemic. So we're ready for next time, a thinktank headed up by Chris Grayling, recommended spending £26 million on headless chickens from his mate Toby."
Mr Grayling also commented on the scheme; "Toby, great bloke by the way, called me from his Barbados home to guarantee that the chickens would cost nothing to keep as he pointed out that without their heads, they won't have any beaks to eat with. Very clever."
In unrelated news, the government has recently invited tenders for deep cleaning and odour removal services.
image from pixabay
bottom of page