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Torygraph: Useless Burnham starts by doing something we want

Writer: Jeremynh
Jeremynh
Jul 21

'For months, we have been saying that the proposed digital ID card is an outrageous threat to British people's liberties,' thunder the proprietors of the Daily Torygraph, Sid and Doris Forsythe-Bonkers, in the paper's editorial today.


'We at the Torygraph have also said we'd sooner do time than carry these hateful, socialist ID excrescences.


'Not only that, but we have also said the digital ID card scheme would be a criminal misuse of £1.8bn of taxpayers' money - not that we in the non-dom Forsythe-Bonkers household pay a penny of that.


'Now we hear that the very first decision our new so-called prime minister, Andy Burnham, has taken in government is to scrap the digital ID card scheme, saying it's a waste of money.


'This outrageous socialist, money-saving decision from the horrid, socialist, penny-pinching Andy Burnham must be opposed with every nerve and sinew that conservative Britain possesses.


'Which is why we, the true Angle-folk of the Daily Torygraph, demand the immediate reintroduction of the digital ID scheme and a doubling of the funds needed to roll it out.


'How dare that unpatroitic leftie Andy Burnham deprive Torygraph readers of their birthright: a true, British digital ID card!'




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Digital ID just like NHS, says erroneous f$ckwit

Writer: Wrenfoe
Wrenfoe
Mar 13

The Labour Party are still pushing their horrendous ID on a British public, like Bill Cosby giving you another cocktail. Not only is this a monumentally unpopular idea, it will instantly enrich Tony Blair-the equivalent having to tip your own executioner.


Comparing it to the NHS, is like comparing the Isle of Wight to the Epstein Island-and if you don't know which is worse, then you never visited Blackgang Chime.


The Labour Party are once more pissing on our head and calling it rain. Made worse by the fact they stole our hat and got Thames Water to re-sell the piss to us, at twice the price. Digital IDs are exactly as bad as the last terrible idea they had...which was Digital IDs.





Digital ID or trial by jury - you can't have both

Writer: Wrenfoe
Wrenfoe
Dec 6, 2025

In a Sophie's Choice between one beloved child and Kevin from Home Alone, the British public have to pick between 1000 years of unbroken civil rights or making Tony Blair filthy rich. Said one voter: "It's a tough one. Lose a corner stone of justice or make it easier to shop at Primark."


Removing jury trials would save an astronomical £31 million, whereas ID's only cost a mere £600million a year - that's fantastic news, as it gives us a saving of minus £569 million. "Yes, we could of irradicated child hunger from the UK for the cost of digital ID, but those kids can now get a full meal when they get wrongly imprisoned.


"Anyway, Magna Carta? What has she done for us recently?"



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