DNA evidence may say otherwise, but it is clear to anyone with eyes that the reason for their unpopularity is that they carry a unique apologist gene. Both possess the rare ability to appear as though they’re saying ‘sorry’ when clearly they’re not. And both can not see a PR rake without standing on it.
Ed has long career of music collaborations – which is now branching out into regime collaboration. His early demo tapes contain a faint background hum that, when slowed down, resembles Keir saying ‘free the sausages’. Ed’s trainers and Keir’s brogues share a manufacturer, evidence of a genetic fondness for sensible footwear. And mysteriously both men like the exact milk to foam ratio in their latte and the exact 50/50 on how they see genocide.
Ed once dropped a custard cream in a studio; at that precise moment, Keir felt ‘a sudden sense of loss’ and couldn’t explain why. Said one fan, ‘No one can be that unpopular by accident. Keir is the son of a toolmaker and Ed is the son of the tool.’
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