People smugglers offer to get people out of the country if Reform win the next election

An undercover Newsbiscuit investigation has found UK-registered firms offering 'package deals' to get people abroad if Farage should get into power.

'Travel Agents' are directing people to pay for trips at high street shops all over the country. An undercover researcher was told nearly £3,000 in cash could be deposited with them to secure a plane on a plane or ferry across the channel and "get away from it all".

"You put your money here. If your friends leave the UK, they won't want to come back," we were told.

Our three-month investigation gives insight into how these groups appear to be using UK companies' bank accounts to facilitate journeys - something a leading travel expert Simon Calder from The Independent told us is no surprise at all.

image from Google Gemini

Reform bots unaware that the election is over

In a scene reminiscent of the Japanese soldiers found defending parts of jungle ten years after the war had ended, Reform bots are still active on social media. They are urging people to vote Starmer out, to call real users disparaging names, and to deny the five million pound bribe thousands of times a second.

Experts have reached out to Reform to ask them to rescue their bots. 'They have previous on this. Just last week we've spotted bots urging voters to vote for Reform in the 2024 General Election to make their vote count,' said one expert today. 'It's obviously up to them, but they are cluttering up social media with unnecessary historical bollocks which is squeezing out the up to date bollocks.'

A bot responded, 'don't care, still voting Nigel in 2024.'

Image credit: Wix AI

Britain needs more Keir Starmer, not less

Addressing the nation the beleaguered PM insisted that he was popular, we just haven't got to know him yet. His failures help to challenge us in a healthy and necessary way. Friendship, after all, cannot flourish unless one party bravely endures the other without encouragement. One day we will thank him for staying.

The seismic collapse of the Labour vote is proof positive that his vision is working. His spokeswoman explained, 'Voters have a wonderfully strong reaction to Sir Keir, we just need to make it a positive one.' There are signs that he is winning people over…certainly their tight smiles and evasive body language show they have learnt a great deal—probably about resilience.

'If you think you hate him now, wait until you get to know him.'

Image credit: NB archive