I voted for this and I am happy with this, and I am not in a cult

Standing defiantly in their red, made in China hat, a MAGA political fanatic repeated some recently learned phrases about short/long term gainpain before rambling the following diatribe:

'I voted for new wars, higher prices, paying for tariffs and masked government officials shooting Americans. Trump said he was going to alienate us and undermine NATO, he said that, I voted for that, and now he is doing it. I really wanted a new war, really, really wanted billions of dollars spent on a new war and not spent on helping Americans. I really wanted that, I always said I did, Trump was always about new wars, Kar-marl-lah would have got us into World Peace Three by now. A new war in the Middle East is everything I wanted. I think he is always right all the time, and he can do nothing wrong, so how is that like a cult?

'No one said they’d lower prices, no one said that. That would be insane. Massive price increases on everything, then sometime in the future, he said he would lower prices. How can you not understand that? Are you stupid, piggy?

'I have always hated Canada so much that they need to be part of the USA. Trump campaigned on taking Greenland, I have said this for ages that we need Greenland, always a top priority. Even though Trump has stopped talking about that for a bit.

'Trump always said he was going to protect rich people from being investigated in the Epstein Files. He would not stop saying how much he was going to only release a few bits, and that we should be happy with that and move on. I wanted that and it has happened. Promises made and promise kept.

'Trump also said I that I don’t miss my family. He campaigned on that and I am happy with that. It's painful when your own family can't see the obvious truths. So, I've just been suffering the short term pain for ten years now….'

Image credit: perchance.org

The old English tradition of Mandy Thursday

Mandy Thursday, also known as the Festival of St. Peter, has been celebrated in England since 1985, when Peter Mandelson was first appointed to a government post.  That’s right – over 40 years ago!  Mandy comes from the Latin word mandatum, meaning give me all your money.

The Holy day is usually celebrated in London by the distribution of Mandy Money.  Originally, Mandy Money was given out as special coins by the monarch, but more recently Mandy Money has been handed out as special payments by the government.  Over the years Mandy Money has been given out for many things, taken many forms, including bonuses, pay rises, redundancy payments, travel costs, promotions, bonuses, severance payments, expenses, and so forth.  In similar fashion, the amount of Mandy Money was originally to be determined by the monarch, but the current arrangements are that the recipient determines the amount for himself.  On the most important occasions Mandy Money is handed over in a ceremonial brown paper envelope.

In recent years the Mandy Money tradition has fallen into disrepute because of negative associations with the convicted paedophile, Jeffrey Epstein.

Image credit: perchance.org

BBC appoints UK's biggest masochist to be new DG

'We realise that Google executive Matt Brittin has zero experience in the broadcasting sector,' said a spokesman for the BBC Board of Governors, while placing burning matches between the new Director-General's toes, 'but Matt proved that he's a voracious glutton for punishment and that's exactly what the job entails.

'He impressed us right off the bat at the interview when he entered the room with a bed of nails and lay down on it before demonstrating his ability to walk over broken glass with a bright smile on his face.

'This showed that Mr Brittin might just about be capable of handling hours-long appearances before parliamentary select committees, answering questions about broadcasting from MPs who are too dim to be able to tune their car radios.

'And also to take personal responsibility for thousands of hours of radio and TV content which he could not possibly have had any control over.

'We were also impressed by the runner-up candidate, who simultaneously garotted himself at the interview while swallowing strychnine. We had no hesitation in recommending him to the Football Association to be the next England manager.'

Image credit: perchance.org