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'I know I should care, he's got the nuclear codes, he's a fruitcake, he's destroying world alliances and it's pretty obvious he's manipulating financial markets for himself and his family,' said the leader of a major European country, 'but honestly, I couldn't give a flying f@ck anymore,' he added.


World leaders have come to realise that kow-towing to the Trump administration doesn't insulate their countries from his erratic herky-jerky mood swings.  Bucking him does result in enormous sanctions on products US citizens want or need to buy, making it harder for them.  For the countries impacted as an exporter it is becoming increasingly obvious that there is a queue of relatively stable countries waiting to take the US share, more if you include the relatively unstable but financially flush countries.  'So, no great shakes there,' said another world leader.


Assassination attempts have been discounted as they would probably trip over fake assassination attempts and someone could get hurt. The wrong person, presumably.  Not the person with the nuclear codes.   


'We can't kill him, but we can ignore him,' said a World leader.  'But I suppose we could release these Epstein files that I found on my desk this morning,' he suggested.





'People are slating the president for making himself out to be Jesus in a picture,' said a spokes-priestess for the White House. 'But Jesus is the fraud and Donald Trump's the real deal.


'You want miracles? Donald's got miracles for you. It's a miracle he got 75 million people to vote for him. It's a miracle he's not in jail. And it's a miracle that the assassins keep missing him with their bullets.


'What's more, we can prove Donald's the real Jesus because every time he says something, people mutter 'Jesus!''


'Fake news!' said Jesus Christ, speaking from the right hand of the Father. 'I have the best miracles. And parables. I have parables like you wouldn't believe.


'But I grant you this about Donald,' continued the Saviour of Mankind. 'He's really going to get crucified in the mid-term elections.'


Image: WixAI


Yet more pictures of Donald Trump raising a fist to knock on thin air have been revealed by the press, leading to further questions about his mental fitness.


'Wherever POTUS says there’s a door, there’s a door,’ said a White House spokesperson on Sunday. ‘Now f*** off back to your fakestream rag.'


But others have claimed that the doddering President’s hand gesture must mean something else. ‘He’s never knocked on a door in his life,’ said an anonymous former Miss World contestant. 'He always just burst in to perv on us. 'Nice knockers', he would say.'


Geriatric authoritarian specialist Dr John Smith commented, 'In his first term he often managed to recognise doors. His current behaviour could be merely a medication side-effect – or he’s just living in an alternate reality.'


Image: WixAI

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