The Kamala Harris Word Salad Recipe

'Word Salad? (Laughs hysterically)

'Let me just say it’s time for us to do what we have been doing, and that time is every day. We've got to take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to take this seriously.

'I can imagine what can be, and be unburdened by what has been. You exist in the context of all in which you live and what you came before you.

'Culture is — it is a reflection of our moment in our time, right? And in the present, culture is the way we express how we’re feeling about the moment.

'So, I think it’s very important for us at every moment in time — and certainly this one — to see the moment in time in which we exist and are present, and to be able to contextualize it, to understand where we exist in the history and in the moment as it relates not only to the past but the future.

'And that’s why I intend to create an opportunity economy.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

New BAFTA award - Best Dramatisation of Prince Andrew Interview

It was announced today that so many dramatisations of the Prince Andrew interview have now been made, they're getting their own category at the BAFTAs.

The announcement was followed up by the surprise news that the broadcast of the interview itself will also be eligible for the award.

'Which is a bit weird,' said Gillian Anderson, who played interviewer Emily Maitlis in one of the dramatisations. 'I mean, I thought I was pretty good as Maitlis, but I’m obviously not as much like her as she is herself.' She was reassured by BAFTA judges that her performance wouldn’t be judged as an impression, but in her ability to 'bring out the essential Maitlisness of Maitlis', to which she replied that she thought Maitlis herself would still have the edge.

However, a further controversy has engulfed the award, as it was alleged that Prince Andrew has been wining and dining the judges in the hope of influencing the vote.

The Prince responded to the controversy by giving a TV interview in which he said he had no memory of flying the judges to the Côte d’Azur for the weekend, presenting them with expensive watches or offering to secure them honours in return for their votes, despite photographic evidence that he did all those things. After the interview, he told an aide 'If anyone asks, I spent that weekend at Pizza Express in Woking.'

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Labour really needs to up its Scandal Game

As everyone expected, the current government is starting to achieve some initial scandals and policy mistakes. Being not used to this kind of corrupting power, they should be given a reasonable amount of time before they get fully into it, maybe even allow for the Conservative debacles to quieten down so they are not compared too much with them. They really did set a really low standard and that will be hard to beat.

Some early personal tax shenanigans by Angela Raynor are pretty lame compared with Nadhim Zahawi rocking up with his seven figure settlement.

They seem to intend to not increase certain taxes as outlined in their manifesto…..they should be pulling a full Johnson and breaking that pledge like a de Pfeffel wedding vow.

Keir Starmer himself should be leading the way, failing to declare gifts properly from a donor is noob stuff - aim for lavish holidays, stupid wallpaper and golden drinks trollies.

If you are going to exploit renters, don’t have a middleman to blame, get in there painting over that mould yourself whilst threatening eviction at the slightest complaint and own it.

If you want to kill old people, don’t just take £300 off them, do it properly and feed care homes with infected pensioners and get those bodies piling up.

We want to see some proper good old-fashioned systemic bullying, not just psychological stuff. There doesn’t seem to be a single known sexual predator in a senior role. This is basic stuff Keir - get it sorted. We got used to professionals, and we won’t stand for anything less.

Picture credit: Wix AI