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- Myke
- Feb 28, 2023
Allies of Boris Johnson say he is plotting to fat-shame the Prime Minister as part of a plan to return to No 10. Polls show a significant proportion of the electorate would like to see a return to the glory days of skinny Boris. The Daily Mail and Express have thrown their support behind Johnson's plot, claiming Sunak is ‘too fat to govern’.
A source close to the former PM said:
‘Boris will accuse Rishi of being a scruffy lying porker. Far from being offensive, he is merely point out that fat people in public office never happened under his watch, and that its time Rishi stepped aside so he can squeeze past him and get back into No 10.'
Downing Street was quick to deny that Rishi is a heffalump, pointing out that Ursula von der Leyen regularly beats him at arm wrestling. .
In the weepy small hours of the weekend, the peoples of the Russian Federation jammed bullying help lines with complaints of harassment by members of NATO. Moscow officials claimed that other nations had blanked them in class. blocked them on Facebook and called them spotty.
The Kremlin complained: ‘Someone had written on our pencil case that Putin smelt of BO and had not started his period yet. We’ve been accused of war crimes, but realty hurts, is being called a dork’. A spokesman for the National Bullying Helpline replied: ‘Yeah, but you were asking for it'.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/vladvictoria-9785604/
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