top of page
Search

FBI now says Isle of Wight never existed

After an exhaustive investigation into cub scout trafficking, the FBI have concluded that no one of influence - or sound mind - ever visited the island. The supposed list of 'clients' who had visited the island was sunk on board the Portsmouth ferry and all tickets to Blackgang Chime were destroyed.


Furthermore the island no longer appears on any maps and has been replaced by the phrase 'here be dinosaurs'. The FBI confirmed 'IOW is not a sex island - not unless you count caravan parks. Nothing illegal ever happened here, in fact, since 1972, nothing ever happened here.'



‘Epstein had no clients’ and ‘Kennedy committed suicide’, say FBI

The FBI has published its long-awaited report into paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, concluding that he didn’t have a client list and that Prince Andrew’s £12 million donation to Virginia Giuffre was ‘an act of selfless generosity’ on a par with that time Jeffrey Archer gave a prostitute £2,000 because he thought she looked like she could use a holiday.


The FBI has also discovered that JFK blew his own brain out as his motorcade drove round Dallas, Donald Trump ‘definitely’ isn’t a Russian asset and Father Christmas is real.



bottom of page