It emerged today that the latest in a long line of furious French protests about nothing in particular is actually about the strain of being French.
'You rosbifs have no idea what it’s like,' said Jean-Claude Petanque. 'The need to drink Pernod and smoke Gauloises all the time - do you know how bad for you these things are? And the smell… I can’t remember the last time I felt clean.'
'And answering every question with a shrug,' he added with a shrug.
'It’s the films that do my head in,' said Maxine Desolée, with whom Jean-Claude is in a situationship. 'Just for once, could I go to the cinema and see a simple popcorn movie where the good guys win, there are car chases and stuff blows up? Not another wankfest where people just smoke while looking out of a window, and no one ever finishes a sentence.'
Both agreed, however, that the most galling (gauling?) aspect of being French is the constant strikes and riots.
'If they don’t do something about it soon, we’re going to go on strike, set fire to the town hall and… oh wait, I can totally see how that happens.'
Image: ChatGPT
