'The improvement is miraculous,' said a handsome doctor in a suspiciously clean white coat. 'The patient has a rare condition that causes indecision, mendacity, randiness, a god complex, and uncontrollable hair.
'After receiving our expert and expensive therapies, he can now construct an apology and appear to mean it. He can manifest fairly normal hair, and he's stopped trying to shag anything in a skirt. But he still lapses into cod Latin when he's under stress, and he still can't understand science.
'His treatment means that he does now recognise the enormous damage he did to the economy, the country, his families, and the health service. But he has shown no remorse and doesn't feel the need to make amends. So although our therapy has many positive aspects, it isn't yet perfect.