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Bohemian Rish-sody



Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?


Facing a landslide, no escape from reality


Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see


I'm just a To - ry, I’ll get no sympathy


Because I'm easy come, easy go, rose too high, falling low


Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me





Tories, I screwed it up


I put a gun against your head


I called election, now you’re dead


Tories, my term had just begun


But now I've gone and thrown it all away


Tories, ooh-ooh, looks like you’re gonna fry


If I'm not back again this time tomorrow


Vote me out, vote me out, the country is in tatters





Too late, the polls have come


Send shivers down my spine, MPs lying all the time


Goodbye, everybody, I'm going to go


Gotta leave you all behind to emigrate


Tories, ooh-ooh (any way the cash goes)


I’m not gonna die


But I sometimes wish I never had stood at all





I see a little spineless tosser of a man


Roland Rat, Roland Rat, will you do us all a favour?


Arguing and fighting, very, very frightening me


(Nigel Farage) Boris Johnson, (Nigel Farage) Boris Johnson


They’re the ones to blame - and bloody Go-o-o-o-ove





I'm just a rich boy, nobody loves me


He's just a bell-end from a rich family


Spare his rich wife from this monstrous defeat





Easy con, track and trace, money in a sack


Michelle Mone


No, she will not give it back (give it back)


Michelle Mone


No, she will not give it back (give it back)


Michelle Mone


No, she will not give it back (give it back)


She will not give it back (give it back)


She will not give it back (give it back)


She will not give it back (give it back)


Never, never, never, got a boat to fund


No, no, no, no, no, no, no





Oh, Maggie Thatcher, Maggie Thatcher


Maggie Thatcher, let me go


Americans have a job put aside for me, for me, for me





So you think you can dump me and spit in my eye?


So you think you can hate me and leave me to die?


Oh, Tories, can't do this to me, Tories


Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here


Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah





Nothing really matters, except my money


Nothing else matters


Nothing else matters to me


Any way the wind blows, he'll go




H/T Sinnick for lyric suggestions


Image: Sinnick & Modelmaker


With apologies to Mick Rock, Photographer and the estate of Freddy Mercury, Songwriter.




First published 25 Jun 2024


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10 Reasons to vote Conservative – Number 4 will shock you!



1) Diversity in Prime Ministers, don’t just vote for Another-White-Man, we have incompetent leaders of different genders and races


2) Experience in Prime Ministers, we have had five different Prime Ministers within the last 8 years and Labour haven’t had one since 2010, that’s the “I Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas time period


3) Responsibility – the decent British mentality of if you broke it, you fix it. We wouldn’t want to leave all the problems we caused for someone else to clean up.


4) If you don’t, we will kill a puppy every hour, on the hour


5) You fear change. Change is bad and scary, stick with what you know, unless what you know is a union of European countries.


6) Blue Passports – You’re welcome


7) Trade deal with Peru – can’t you feel the sovereignty?


8) Availability of Food Banks – so many new ones are opening all the time


9) An aim to reduce some of the faecal matter in some of the waterways – achievable goals!


10) New Hospitals! New School Roofs! Dental care! We want them too and have already got private versions. None for you. Soz.




First published 24 May 2024


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BBC still hasn't reported on BBC not reporting anything


Social media is on fire with allegations that the BBC hasn't reported anything about the crisis in Iran, despite running several separate news articles every day since the demonstrations started.  They are also accused of not reporting anything about the situation in Gaza, despite running articles daily since last year.



'We admit that some reporting is difficult,' said a BBC spokesman, adding, 'as both Iran and Israel won't allow correspondents in, and those that do sneak in tend to get shot', he said. 'I ran to tell you because is real.'



Critics grudgingly agree, but point out that the BBC hasn't announced the upcoming General Election, to be debated next week where the government, despite having a huge majority, is going to roll over and vote to pull the General Election forward by at least three years.  The BBC agree that they haven't reported that piece of news but defended themselves by pointing out that whenever the next election does occur they have told the country who to vote for. Repeatedly.


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