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Benjamin Netanyahu watched the Glastonbury coverage this year with a growing sense of alarm.


He watched the coverage of Kneecap and Bob Vylan aghast. The crowd was a sea of Palestinian flags. There was not a single star of David to be seen. The mood was far from positive for Israel.


Bibi released that he had badly missed a trick. Glastonbury coverage is shown around the world, and his enemies had scored a massive PR victory.


And so Bibi has decided to create an Israeli supergroup that is so awesome and cool that the band will be a 'must book' for the next Glastonbury Festival in 2027. The musical genre has yet to be decided, but Bibi has suggested a mash-up of the musical styles of The Settlers and Dire Straits.


Bibi plans to build on Israel's four Eurovision wins. He is certain that, with hard work, practice, musical talent and some tactical interventions by Mossad, the goal can be achieved.


Bibi dreams of crowd-surfing at Glastonbury 2027, carried through a sea of Israeli flags. He is sure that the BBC's famed impartiality will help him to broadcast Israel's message of peace, hope, freedom and the obliteration of Gaza, around the globe.



Picture credit: perchance

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Following his performance at Glastonbury, eighty-year-old rocker Rod Stewart is to release a new overlong playing record in support of his new found love for right-wing politician Nigel Farage, who replaces Rod's previous bestie MP Enoch Powell.  Apparently he thinks Powell was a softie and like the object of his early Seventies hit, Maggie May, is also dead.


Some of the titles have been re-recorded to bring them up to date, but Rod hopes his fans embrace them.  They include:


The First DOGE cut is the Deepest


(I am) Racist


Do Ya Think I'm Racist?


Young Turks (go home)


If You Don't Know Nigel By Now


I Don't Want to Talk About Policies




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