An inquest into the parching of a Glastonbury Festival goer has concluded that she overdosed on vitamin D. Maria Hughes, 19, from Oxshott, was found dribbling and lobster-coloured, especially in the cleavage area. She was pronounced dead sexy at the scene, and advised to take in more cider.
This is understood to be known as 'getting a skinful'.
Police have warned that use of the dangerous new drug vitamin D needs to be seriously clamped down on. 'Next year, zero tolerance will be shown to a supplier we believe is referred to as The Sun. What is most alarming, however, is that addicts appear to be making their own vitamin D.
'Parents must understand to the point of perpetual terror how much danger their beloved cherubs are in. But grandparents should be disgusted at the youth of today and can continue taking as many drugs as they like.'
Critics have said that the Police are just being unwise after the event.
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