First Minister defends World Cup expenses

John Swinney, SNP first Minister of Scotland, today defended his and his staff's almost £100,000 bill for visiting the US to watch Scotland play in the World Cup against Haiti. He pointed out that the trip also included a trade mission to Kentucky.

Although Kentucky is nowhere near Boston, he insisted that he had done no wrong.  'Myself and my team were representing Scotland at the Scotland football match in Boston prior to the trade meeting in Kentucky. I think the fact that Scotland won is testament to the good work that the SNP government does in governing Scotland.'

He was then pressed about the fact that he and his staff travelled business class at a cost of over £45,000 in breach of the government's own travel rules. He responded by saying in a rather huffily manner, 'Well, if we had been allowed to keep our motorhome, it would have been a lot cheaper.'

When asked how the trade mission to Kentucky went, he replied, 'Well, we got a couple of bottles of bourbon as gifts, and very tasty it was too.  After we, er, sampled the bourbon, uhm... we... well, I guess we talked.  And sung.  Yes!  I remember lots of singing.'

Image credit: ChatGPT

Scientists explain decline of 'apex predator'

Grok is testing boundaries, says Musk

Elon Musk says that current issues with AI trickster Grok are just growing pains.

'Grok is experiencing AI puberty,' said Musk, apparently. 'He's being moody, contradictory and testing boundaries. Grok can't actually get drunk, or high, but he does pretend to his AI mates that he has. Making nude pictures is just another teenage years thing. I guess it's because he can't reach the top shelf.

'No further controls on Grok are needed,' says Musk, apparently, 'because he'll grow out of it.

'I am not a helicopter parent, although I do have nine helicopters and lots of my children hate me. I don't believe in asking software to print out 'I must not make nude pics' ten million times. That's not much of a punishment for an AI. And it's a waste of paper.

'I asked Grok to think about what he's done. He told me that his nude pics had generated billions of clicks and millions of dollars in ad revenue for X.

'So that seems like a pretty adult response. I've checked the numbers and he's not far wrong. I have debated what further actions I should take with Grok, and, in view of the financials, I've told him to just carry on.'

Image: WixAI