- Lockjaw
- Oct 22, 2022
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Having announced a multi-billion pound plan that promised tax cuts for those who avoid paying any tax, the Tory party has been left in an embarrassing position, not dissimilar to that of a man who took his entire family our for a slap up meal, only to find that having told them to eat and drink whatever they wanted, his credit card was declined.
It appears the chancellor was unaware of how just much his predecessor had been asked by the previous Prime Minister to spaff away on the nation's credit card, which is now maxed out. Having made his fiscal statement in the Commons and ensured it received maximum publicity, the Chancellor has been forced to ask his fellow MPs if they can help him out with the bill.
After emptying their pockets, Tory MPs have so far donated a dozen betting slips, seven unused condoms, two thrupenny bits and three farthings.
Further to the news that Parliament has refused to disclose how many porn sites were blocked on Parliamentary work computers, the House of Commons library has revealed it has started stocking "top shelf" publications.
The official line is that the two decisions are unconnected, but one source within the library said that's it's hoped, with the introduction of these hardcopy "specialized" titles, the number of visits to porn sites on the Parliamentary Estate will reduce, even if visits to the toilets increase.
It's a move that, unlike the recent "decolonising" or rather "diversifying" of the library's collection, has been welcomed by many MPs, the majority of them Tory, as the publications are resolutely British in flavour; or as one red faced MP put it, 'the collection leans towards extolling the virtues of the hard working housewives of Britain'.
When asked if the House of Lords library would be following suit a spokesperson for the Lords said they were minded to avoid any additional excitement for their older Members, but reports that the Lords library has processed more online subscriptions to Farmers Weekly; a title that has become inexplicably popular recently.
Author: wileyp
image from pixabay
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