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Chancellor welcomes falling prices

The Chancellor has welcomed the latest data from the ONS that shows falling prices in the last two weeks.


This new data bucks the trend of rises prices throughout 2025.


A government spokesman told us that, in the week before Christmas, prices for many vegetables had fallen, as shops offered deals at 5p, 8p and 15p for bags of short dated produce. In addition, there was a measurable fall in the price of advent calendars.


'Since Christmas, there have been dramatic falls in the prices of brandy sauce, mince pies, Christmas crackers, tree decorations, panettone, goose fat, and wrapping paper. Chicken prices have also fallen due to a lack of demand for poultry products in the post Christmas period. And there are early indications that the prices of diaries and calendars will fall in the new year.


'The government very much welcomes this evidence that its policies are delivering for the British people, and that inflation is now well under control. If this positive trend continues then the Prime Minister has promised to come out of hiding to take the credit, and to talk up Labour's chances in the May elections.'



7 money saving tips from financial guru, Martin Clueless




During this cost-of-living crisis, many are struggling to make ends meet. Here are some hints to help you to save a few pounds:


1. Clear out your food cupboard - you’re bound to find several items you’d forgotten about. Ignore ‘best before’ dates – that’s just a ruse thought up by food manufacturers to get you to waste money. If you find any Pot Noodles or Toast Toppers chuck them in the bin, even if they’re not out of date. Don’t donate them to a food bank – those people have suffered enough.


2. Defrost your freezer, and liberate all those stray peas and bits of carrot that have been embedded in the ice for years. Combine them will all the loose grains of rice from the back of the food cupboard to make a delicious risotto.


3. Don’t throw away that mouldy Cheddar from the back of the fridge - eat it, and pretend it’s Stilton. You won’t notice the taste if you wash it down with that bottle of ouzo you bought back from Greece 20 years ago.


4. Whenever you feel cold, run up and down the stairs 50 times, as fast as you can. You’ll soon be all hot and sweaty, so you won’t need to put the heating on.


5. If you are reckless enough to turn the heating on, take a tip from your Nan – don’t heat the whole house, just heat the living room to 40°C, while the rest of the house is below freezing. The blast of cold air whenever you leave the living room may come as a shock, but the sudden change in temperature will really get your circulation going. You’ll get all the same health benefits as those nutters who go ice swimming, without having to get wet.


6. Scrape the black mould from the bathroom ceiling, and spread it on a cracker. Eat it and pretend it’s Beluga caviar, like what posh people eat. It probably tastes the same.


7. Insects are a good source of protein. If you have a teenage son, there are bound to be loads of dead flies on his bedroom windowsill, which will make a nutritious snack. Try not to wonder why there are so many dead flies in there, or where the horrible smell is coming from. And definitely don’t look under the bed.



Disclaimer: Newsbiscuit is not responsible for any ill effects suffered by readers who are daft enough to follow Martin Clueless’ tips.



First published 7 Nov 2022


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