Scientists hope they can drive Asian hornets mad with 125.25Hz sound

Musician scientists, who found that Asian hornets nests produce a 125Khz sound, are hoping that a near frequency will create a beat that the hornets will regard as a threat, in the same way the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra was able to dispense with poorly tuned banjos.

Entomologist, Dick Scratcher told Newsbiscuit, that we might be surprised by how many insects are born with perfect pitch; and just like humans, they find it irritating when pop musicians struggle to hit the right note. He cited the instance when a Wings concert was halted after Paul McCartney said his mike wasn’t working; and a roadie exchanged it with the one his wife was using, which few outside etymology, appreciate, halted the 1975 insect riots.

Scientists hope that by playing a racket slightly out of tune with the ones Hornets make, it will encourage them to express their musicality in other lands in the way that Punk musicians never did.

Photo by Bob Brewer on Unsplash

Ready for battle

Insects say fewer sightings down to sick-note culture and working from home

A wet Spring and Summer have been blamed for the lack of many insects usually seen in British gardens. However, sources from the bugs themselves have blamed the workshy and a culture of working from home.

A furious butterfly, Neville, was pretty scathing about his fellow lepidoptera. 'Some of them just can't be bothered to get out of their cocoon. "Oooh, sorry, it's my agoraphobia", or "My knees play up something wicked in this wet weather." It means the rest of us are flitting from flower to flower, twenty-four seven, just to keep production steady. It's the butterfly effect.'

Susan, not her real name, a honey bee, told us amber nectar supplies were well below average thanks to her colleagues 'skiving'. "They know all the buzz words. If it's not Group B Strep it's Hepatitis B. What I say is take some Beechams and get your lazy thorax out of that hive!"

Ant colonies have not fared much better. We spoke to Ant, his real name, who blamed the pandemic. "We have a group of shirkers who were forced to stay at home, got a liking for working in their pants, and it's an uphill task now to get them to leave."

However, the most severe criticism seem reserved for mayflies. "Pond scum the lot of them." exclaimed a somewhat laboured water boatman. "Rock up for a day and then you never see them again."

Image: Wix AI