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Mid-term madness?

Writer: deskpilot
deskpilot
Oct 8

There are less than thirty days to the US mid-term elections. The polls look very bad for Donald Trump, so he’ll need to put in an unbelievable performance to turn things around.


Here are our best predictions of what you can expect...


Trump tries to shout down the price of oil, again


Trump offers to arm Argentina so that they can take back Las Malvinas on condition that they are renamed The American Islands and that the US gets all the oil


Millions of dollars are spent on social media disinformation and lies


Trump demolishes the White House west-wing to build a new casino


Trump declares victory over Iran because Iran hasn't gained a single inch of territory


The Board of Peace takes over FIFA. FIFA announces that 2028 World Cup will be held in Gaza in 2028, just before the US presidential elections


ICE officers are filmed eating immigrants' pets


Trump tries to shout down interest rates, again


Iran steals the Epstein files in full and publishes them. Trump says it's all fake news.


In a bizarre tribute to Douglas Adams, Donald Trump decides to insult all world leaders in alphabetical order


Trump confirms his third and fourth terms


Trump suspends the US Constitution due to a National Emergency that he will explain ‘shortly’


Trump's mates buy all US media outlets. All media outlets predict a massive ground-breaking, world-beating, lip-smacking, thirst-quenching, mid-term election win for Trump.



Image credit: NewsBiscuit archive



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Failure to register mafia interest was an honest mistake, says PM

Myke
Apr 21, 2025


The Prime Minister has brushed off accusations that he failed to register shares in a concrete mixing car wash casino. The PM said the omission was an honest mistake, adding that he was fairly certain his accountant, Luigi ‘The Accountant’ Caponioni, would not be making the same mistake again.


A revised list of ministerial interests shows a reference to a number of direct shareholdings, including a second-hand furniture shop near Grimsby town centre. The shop is closed but has an estimated annual turnover of £650 million. It is part owned by his wife, Donna Vito Corleone Sunak.


A spokesperson for the Prime Minister said: ‘The PM made an honest mistake but has apologised and set the record straight. He is totally legit. Furthermore, I would advise you to check under your car before putting your key in the ignition.’


Mr Sunak’s accountant was not available for comment.



First published 21 April 2023


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