Israel attacks another country, to keep itself in practice

'It had been a good 24 hours since we'd done something truly despicable, like bombing a hospital in Gaza,' a spokes-F16 for the IDF told ashen faced reporters.

'Everyone in the war cabinet was sitting around, wondering what to do next to maintain our coveted position of Pariah Nation of the 21st Century.

'Then the Minister of Health said 'I know! Why don't we launch a strike into Lebanon, killing and wounding a bunch of civilians? We haven't done that for some time.'

'So we bombed Lebanon, and that kept us on the front pages of the international press for a bit, given how we had - once again - exhibited a truly callous disregard for human life.

'Then the next day they were all sitting around and scratching their heads again.

''I know,' said the Minister for Overseas Aid. 'Why don't we have a good go at impoverished Yemen again? Just like the old days? Really make it suffer.

'Next, we're thinking of launching a pre-emptive strike on Tehran, just to keep our hands in,' continued the spokes-jet.

'I mean, we wouldn't want our bomber pilots getting out of practice, would we? We might need them for a real war.'

Image: Kyle Glenn (@kylejglenn) | Unsplash Photo Community

World endures 24-hour salvo of gloating from Trump

'I came, I bombed, I made everlasting peace everywhere,' bragged Trump to two dozen images of himself reflected in the lenses of television cameras in the Oval Office.

'No one makes bigglier peace deals than me,' he crowed, as a billion TV viewers hurled shoes at their screens in exasperation.

'And after I flattened Oslo with my personal fleet of Boast-2 bombers, people are saying I'm a shoo-in for the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize. They're already saying it'll be the last Peace Prize ever awarded, because we won't need any others after this.'

'We need regime change," said the Ayatollah Khameini, pulling out clumps of his beard in fury, 'because America has become a rotten, corrupt theocracy with a supreme leader who does nothing but worship himself.'

Doubts over the scale of the damage inflicted on Iran’s nuclear sites