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With strikes and gunshots again heard in all across Palestine again, an Israeli spokesperson has claimed today that they and Hamas, 'were on a break.'


 'It’s all fine, we were on a break,' said Ben Bronten, an IDF official. 'We took some time out to see if we were over it all, and clearly we’re not. We both still have a lot of pent-up emotion, and that is going to come up in unexpected gunfire and missile strikes sometimes.”


He went on to point out that sometimes truces were fragile and the opposites sides would have the occasional flare-up.


'Look, sometimes passions lead to the re-blockading of aid; multiple rocket strikes on seemingly non-miltary targets; and a teensy-weensy bit of quasi invading. It’s perfectly natural. We’ll all be holding hands by November. As long as Hamas keeps their wandering eyes off those Hezbollah floozies.'



Picture credit: perchance.org


During the conclusion of US President Donald Trump's address to the Israeli Knesset, he raised the eyebrows of more than a few by thanking them for electing him President of Israel.


'It's so nice of you all to be here today,' he told the assembled representatives, 'it was a pretty difficult campaign but I think we deserved it. Some are saying no-one has ever been president of two different countries before but we did it. I did it."


Benjamin Netanyahu seemed shell-shocked but managed to just stare ahead with a fixed grin as Mr Trump thanked him for a good fight during a difficult time.


"With all the war stuff going on, perhaps Benny was distracted a little but I would have won anyway. The Israeli people love me. And I'm not even Jewish! They said it couldn't be done but I did it."


Mr Trump then went on to make Mr Netanyahu his deputy and told the room that he would pop in in a couple of months to see how everyone was getting along but would be catching up with 'Benny' a couple of times a week, golf rounds notwithstanding.

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