top of page
Search

Liz Truss asks Labour on how to sabotage your own election



The Forde report has proven that Labour's right wing deliberately destroyed their chances of election victory, something Liz Truss has only managed to achieve by accident. An aide remarked: 'Labour officials worked tirelessly at sabotage, whereas our Liz only needs to stare vacantly at the camera, while she shouts something unintelligible about cheese.


'Ideally we'd like to be Machiavellian but Liz is barely Mac 'n' Cheese. Just by drawing breath, she can take 10% off your polling numbers - she's a one woman wrecking ball, with exactly the same density.


'She already has several campaign slogans; 'I'm with Stupid', 'Truss is Trust spelt wrong', 'Vote for Liz, she licks plugs', 'Idiocy is a Brexit Dividend', 'I eat crayons' and the tuneful 'Dumb dee dumb dumb!'.



Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.



First published 22 Jul 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















Farage incensed that he's running against a joke candidate


'Nigel wasn't surprised when Labour pulled out of the by-election,' said a Reform spokesman.


'The Tories chickening out was a no-brainer,' he said, 'because we hold the brains of the Tory party here,' said, admitting that Lee wasn't included.  Nor Suella, to be fair. 'And don't draw any conclusions about Honest Bob until after the NCA ivestigation,' he added.


'We thoroughly expected the Lib Dems to refuse to stand.  Nobody in Clacton wants to care about people, that's why they voted for Nigel.  And don't bother sending Zack around, this is hardly Brighton,' he ranted.


'But pitting a joke candidate up, that is beyond the pale,' he said, holding up a picture of Lawrence Fox.  'A bin, sure, bring it on.  Nigel will stub his cigar on him, but Fox?


'What a joke'.


image from grok


Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.


bottom of page