Labour party aims to best the Tories

 Labour Party activists are excited by the chance to put one over on the Tories.

0ne insider told us, 'When the Tories sacked Theresa May, they set in motion a downward doom spiral from which they never recovered. Boris, partygate, internal divisions, scandal, defections, Liz Lettuce, Kwazy Kwasi and then Rishi got the hospital pass and finally a massive election wipe out.'

'Labour is at the top of that ski slope. If we can push out Keir, then we can ignore the national interest and just rip the party to pieces. Andy Burnham! Angela Rayner! Lucy Powell! Anas Sarwar! It'll be brutal. No-one will come out alive. It'll be so much better than sorting out railways or hospitals or benefit or housing. Finally, some real political drama. I'm so excited. I can't wait. We're going to make the Tories look like rank amateurs at self-destructive in-fighting and civil war!'

image from pixabay

Labour have had more resets than Windows Vista

The PM is demanding more time for the nation to decide if they really hate them. According to allies, Mr. Starmer is just one re-branding away from becoming popular—like Elon Musk's X. Hoping that public policy is just a Wi‑Fi router, Sir Keir thinks giving it a good kick and shake will save his arse.

Trying to reset humanity’s collective memory of anything he did in the last five years is unlikely, given his internet search history and his cheeky little genocide. A friend said. "I'm not sure clicking the ruby slippers together will get us back to Kansas. I fear that it will just send Keir to the Epstein Island, with P-Diddy and the Child Catcher."

image from pixabay

Falling like ninepins. Who's next?