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Westminster awash with plagiarism, has seen multiple distinguished racists jostle to attack racism, while being a sneaky bit racist. Said a close friend: 'Diane regular recieves more abuse that all the other MPs combined. And that's just Keir Starmer's WhatsApp group.'
The Labour front bench were keen to emphasis that they got there first. However they agreed to a cross-party commitee being established, to see if there was a fair method by which they could all put the boot in.
Labour confirmed;'We've already suspended Abbott for racism, not ours, hers. So if we can bully her over bullying, we'll have reached peak irony.'
After searching high and low, for all of two minutes, Labour and Conservative MPs agreed there was no money to help the poor. Yet a cursory inspection of their expenses claims, would suggest that the Magic Money tree is alive and well, and forming a forest the size of Wales.
Said one tax inspector: 'If you want to find a tree, you should start with people who own a 50 acre garden. Very few trees in a council tenement building. Very little Magic there either. Not unless you count the mushrooms. In reality, Magic Trees are much more likely to be discovered in Magic Offshore Accounts, alongside Magic Tax Avoidance and Magic Photos of Jeffery Epstein.'
Asked about the huge pile of money, shaped like a tree, sitting in his own bank account, a spokesman for Keir Starmer said: 'Oh, that tree? I never noticed it before. That's not a tree, it's a very large shrub. Easy mistake to make. And those big wads of cash? Those are donations to ensure we won't introduce a rich tax. So technically not money, more of a bribe. Magic, huh?'
image from pixabay
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