Stonehenge tunnel cancelled so developers can build new houses there

The proposed tunnel under Stonehenge has been cancelled in order that builders can throw up an estate of houses around it.

Locals are concerned that the vibrations from the traffic in the tunnel will disturb the residents of the restored ancient main building, when they've re-roofed it and turned it into flats, as affordable accommodation.

'What are you whinging about, you bunch of NIMBYs?' asked a Labour party spokesman 'It's not green belt - it's already got a building on it, been there for millennia!'

image from pixabay

The naked truth about taxation

Poor children 'excited' for creation of Child Poverty Taskforce

Children in poorer areas of the UK are said to be 'buzzing' for Labour's creation of a taskforce to address child poverty.

Luke Lyle, 7, said 'I can't wait to play Taskforces in the playground with my friends. I imagine it's like Avengers assembling. I am quite hungry though because my parents can't afford lunches every day. If Labour would just abolish the Tory two child benefit cap, then I could have some lunch, rather than waiting until the Taskforce inevitably makes that recommendation anyway.'

'Please sir. Can I have some more?'

'More?!' blustered one Conservative, almost dropping his monocle into his brandy in horror. 

'Poor children should be working, cleaning the chimneys in my country retreat. Anyway, you can't just... give poor people money! What if they use it to make better lives for themselves? That would simply never do.'

Picture credit: Wix AI