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MPs to write next Eurovision song

Writer: Throngsman
Throngsman
Sep 21

An all party committee of MPs have decided that the only way for the UK to stand a chance at the next Eurovision Song Contest is to enact legislation after debating it in both houses.


'We're working on the lyrics,' said a Labour spokesman, adding, 'and Reform are working on the chorus - it goes "boring, boring, boring" apparently,' he said.


The Greens are proposing flutes to feature in the music and the Lib Dems are working on a spectacular stunt for visual impact. 'We've got previous on that,' said a Lib Dem representative.


The Conservatives are going to sulk in harmony.





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Starmer forbids front bench from singing along with Wilson Pickett

Writer: apepper
apepper
Aug 27


Labour leader, Sir Keir Starmer, has told shadow ministers that they shouldn't join in if they hear any song by Wilson Pickett "to be on the safe side."


Former Shadow Minister, Sam Tarry, has expressed doubts about the policy; "This is taking things too far. I was listening to Ken Bruce in my office when Mustang Sally came on, which I sang along with as it brought back powerful memories of a teenage romance I'd had; I really miss that horse. Next thing I know, Keir's popped his head round the door and said 'you're fired.' I mean, I wouldn't mind so much but I later found it was a cover by the Commitments."

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First published 27 Aug 2022


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