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It will, eventually, all be the fault of Reform

The labour party has been so busy blaming the nasty wicked evil Tories for everything it hasn't been able to fix, that it hasn't noticed that the Tories are no longer any kind of electoral threat.

'Perhaps we need to accept that the rotten, wretched Reform party is a greater threat' said a spokessomethingorother-close-to-the-Labour party.  'And realise that if we lose to them in the next election, we might have to put up with them for a while.  But we will then have to decide whether we will still be "not-the-Tory party", or will have to change our entire electoral strategy and become "not-the-Reform party", and blame the rotten-wretched-Reform party for everything which will have gone wrong, instead of continuing, for ever, to attribute the blame for absolutely everything entirely to the nasty-wicked-evil-Tory party.'

'Are we capable of re-orientating our entire political philosophy so fundamentally?  As usual, as is our tradition, we don't know / aren't sure / haven't made up our minds - so no change there.  And anyway, we  can always change our minds again afterwards, if we ever do make a decision.'

https://pixabay.com/photos/man-face-black-white-eyes-nose-272679/

https://www.newsbiscuit.com/

Starmer most hated PM? Hold my pint, says Streeting

Rumours of a leadership bid, have been triggered by Starmer being less popular than Prince Andrew at a Nativity Play. Wes Streeting is touted as a natural replacement as someone we can universally despise. He has all the charm of a puff adder and the ethics of...well...a puff adder.

Embarrassingly Starmer chose to quell rumours of a challenge, by announcing rumours of a challenge using a megaphone. The first example of a political career accessing assisted suicide.

Streeting did the media rounds with popular ideas - a new series of Mrs Brown's Boys, talking during movies and bringing back Windows Vista. He boasted if he became PM slow WiFi would be standard and the word "literally" would be literally misused literally every day. Literally.

Image: kirill_makes_pics - Pixabay