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Competition to name Corbyn’s new party

The new political party founded by Jeremy Corbyn and Agatha Raisin, sorry Zarah Sultana, remains without a name even after its official launch.


It’s thought the two may ask the public to come up with the name, possibly making it into a competition on BBC children’s programme Blue Peter. Early indications are that Party McPartface will be a popular choice, along with The People’s Front of Islington. However, the people who favour the latter are keen to distance themselves from those who prefer The Islington People’s Front, whom they describe as 'splitters'. 


Another option is Old Labour, reflecting a retreat to pre-1994 values and the age of Jeremy Corbyn (76). Many countries seem to value old leaders, and they seem to work out very well, so why not? And some have suggested the Tooting Freedom Party, a hat-tip to the famous left wing politician John Wolfie Smith. More frivolous suggestions include Nomentum, The Socialist Pensioners’ Party and assorted feeble puns such as Left Field, Left Out, and Leftovers.


Meanwhile, Reform have said it’s ridiculous to found a party and not know what to call it. ‘Obviously, you start with a catchy name, and then hope someone comes up with some policies at some point.’



Includes contributions from sinnick, james_doc and deskpilot


Picture credit: deep dream generator

Starmer Snap Election

Keir Starmer has denied confiding to NewsBiscuit's non-existent parliamentary correspondent that, in light of the way he and his government have been thorough fucked over by his own parliamentary party in the past few days, he has been contemplating holding a snap general election.


'We have learned the hard way that having a massive parliamentary majority does not protect us from suffering the humiliation of defeat when trying to pass legislation' he denied having said 'so we came to the conclusion that the only solution would be to hold a snap general election.'


'With any luck, this would result in us having a vastly reduced, wafer-thin majority in the House of Commons.  We now know that this wouldn't make it any harder to pass legislation, and would at least make parliamentary defeat far less humiliating.  However, if we got really lucky, we might even lose a general election, and be able to let some other bunch of ambitious but deluded tossers take over.'


'A good outcome, even if we know that these naïve idiots will spend their entire term of office blaming their immediate predecessors for everything that they screw up; we'll simply adopt the Tory policy (copying the Lib Dems) of simply turning ourselves invisible.'




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