'I can't understand why TV schedulers will only be transmitting our movie at 2 am,' said a spokesmouse for the Walt Disn'tney Corporation, 'because it's a heart-warming love story for the 2020s.
'You have the First Lady, Melania, who's a high-class, nose-in-the-air, top model pedigree bitch. The Trump is a no-class, lying, cheating, lowlife, flea-ridden, backstreet mutt. The Trump offers the First Lady (kennel name: Eva Braun) a fortune to marry him and make him seem somehow decent. She fails, but makes a huge load of dosh out of him anyway.
'Watch out for those loveable terrors Stephen Miller and Peter Hegseth slinking through the White House and singing their famous duet: "We are vile and sleazy, if you please-ee".'
Film classification: Gruesome X-rated Horror.
Newsbiscuit verdict: Don't take the kids.