Unsubstantiated reports are coming in that PM, Rishi Sunak, "lost his sh$t" in the Cabinet meeting this morning.
Apparently, he entered the room with a snooker ball in a sock and swung it with some strength into Dominic Raab's face and, whilst Raab was still dazed, grabbed him by the hair and smashed his face into the Cabinet table. He then declared "I'm the daddy now. One more f&ck up from any of of you and there will be hell to pay. Is that clear?"
Sir Laurie Magnus, who was standing behind the PM, then made a grotesque face and a throat-cutting gesture to those assembled.
Apparently, there is a large queue of MPs outside the office of the Registrar of Members Interests.
Mr Raab is in an induced coma at St Thomas' Hospital.
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