'We've done our best to avoid pissing people off, and we've consistently opposed Brexit' said a calm, polite, sensible-looking spokesman / spokesperson / spoke / speaker / whatever-the-most-inoffensive / non-challenging / politically acceptable title currently is 'and we are told that being "populist", whatever that actually means, is apparently regarded as not-a-good-thing.'
'So after a lot of - er, OK, maybe a little bit of - brainstorming = well, gentle brain-mildly-inclement-weatherstorming - we had been considering changing the name of our party to something like the Unpopulist Party, or perhaps the Unpopular Front for Democratic Liberalism. (We decided to politely ignore the troublemakers, with all due respect, who had suggested calling ourselves the Unpopular Front for Liberal Democracy.)'
'However when we tried to find out how the voters would be likely to respond to this change, we were dismayed to receive a near-universal response of "Who the f**k are the Liberal Democrats?". So instead of changing our name from one which no-one had heard of to a different one which no-one even understood, we decided to carry on spending our time blindfold underwater bungee-jumping on unicycles instead. At least that's a bit more fun, and definitely more useful than engaging in politics.'
