Man successfully cooks something on smallest gas hob ring on cooker

A man has confounded all logic and reason by managing to successfully cook something on the smallest of the 4 hob rings on his gas cooker, it has been confirmed.

Mike McBride 46, managed to cook a small pan of penne pasta in just under 5 hours but admitted that he never expected to complete the ultimate endurance task, only taking it on out of desperation, as all the other hob rings were unavailable.

'I had no choice really', admitted McBride - there was a sauce boiling on one, some veg cooking on the massive hob ring, and of course, the back right ring wasn't igniting, its always the back right one, isn't it?'.

'I tried all the tricks in the book, including constantly twisting the hob dial left and right whilst crouched down closely inspecting the flame to see whether anything other than a miniscule amount of gas was coming through, but it had no effect' admitted McBride.

McBride is now planning another record breaking attempt by trying to work out what the setting on his oven means where it has a half zigzag line at the top and a straight line at the bottom.

Image: Pixabay/Maikolaquino

www.newsbiscuit.com

First published 23 Mar 2022

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'I love being out in nature, challenging myself' says Helen (58). 'Anyone can climb a mountain – why not make it interesting?'

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Helen again: 'They’re always saying stuff like "you can’t bring that dishwasher here", and "you’re a bloody nutter, what kind of idiot takes a gas hob up Helvellyn?". It’s so frustrating. I listen to The Archers, I count myself an ally. Okay, I’m a vegetarian and I sometimes set the sheep free, but I’ve always done that. If anything, carrying a 50 litre fridge freezer around has slowed me down. They should be pleased'.

There are some positives. Several wild swimmers have mysteriously vanished whilst towing heavy white goods. Something to do with physics, apparently. Rescue services have promised to go out and look for them 'in a week or so, just as soon as we've shifted these items on eBay'.

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In the trailer for the series, Meghan can be seen picking produce from her garden and warmly ignoring her father. Back in her Montecito kitchen, while Harry cleans the oven with a very old toothbrush, Meghan spends the first hour of the show thanking her ‘amazing team’ one by one. Using words such as ‘fantastic’ and (again) ‘amazing’ she says that she is ‘beyond grateful for the support’, leaving viewers pondering how ‘beyond grateful’ might take form in language or emotion.

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Picture credit: deskpilot