Daily Torygraph - Macron is to blame for bedbugs in Paris

We at the Daily Torygraph have spent a long time studying the science behind the bedbug infestation in Paris, but we know nothing about science. So instead, we've decided to blame it on Emmanuel Macron.

Yes, readers! We say that after six years of increasingly squalid quasi-communist rule, this degenerate pervert has brought down the wrath of God on France's capital in the form a plague of filthy insects.

You ask us for proof? It is this. We do not like Macron, we never have liked Macron, and we never will like Macron.

And we give the British public this warning - if you make the filthy, dirty choice of voting Labour in the next election, you'll get bedbugs, too.

image from pixabay

Macron fears diplomatic blunders whilst Chaz and Camz are in town

Flambéed town hall needs pinch of tarragon, says critic

Angry French protestors have taken to the streets of Bordeaux after the government imposed a rather indifferent pot-au-feu that may have been over seasoned. Cars were set alight and buildings ransacked as furious pensioners demanded a simple but rather delicious confit de canard.

A spokesperson said: ‘Macron is forcing Pinot Noir down our throats, and it tastes a bit corked. We've had an œuf.' The French government is asking people to emulate British protestors by staying at home and watching episodes of Isle d'amour instead.

An angry British tourist whose holiday was disrupted by the protests said: ‘I am absolutely incandescent with rage. Why isn’t somebody else doing something about it?’

Aftermath Riot Protest - Free photo on Pixabay

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