top of page
Search

No, there’s not 'Any other business?', confirms everyone at end of meeting


ree

The answer to the question of whether anyone has any other business to raise, made by a chairperson at the end of millions of workplace meetings daily, is always no, absolutely everyone has confirmed.


‘Throughout the history of meetings, no meaningful point has ever made in the ‘any other business’ section', confirmed Mike McBride, Professor of Meetings at the University of Lunn (formerly Lunn Poly).


‘The exception, of course, is when someone suggests going to the pub’.


‘Anyone who thinks it is ok to raise additional items, after an already pointless three hour meeting, when everyone is worn-down and broken by the futility of corporate bureaucracy should be punished by instant electrocution as soon as they raise their hand’, continued McBride.


‘In fact, I’m going to suggest this in ‘any other business’ section of the next meeting I’m in’.




Manager asking worker to 'hold that thought' in meeting has no intention of revisiting issue


ree

A manager chairing a team meeting will never actually give on a suggestion made by a worker, despite suggesting that he will by saying ‘hold that thought’, it has been confirmed.


Mike McBride, Senior Product Manager at a professional services firm, has admitted that he used the earnest sounding, but ultimately empty, phrase as a means of neatly sidelining a suggestion by Mitch, an enthusiastic new starter to the company in the middle of a presentation McBride was giving.


‘Following up on what Mitch said in the meeting might actually involve some effort or thinking on my part’, explained McBride. ‘His intervention also showed incredible naivety, in that it assumed I actually gave a damn about his or anyone else's views'.


'I've asked my PA to explore the feasibility of scheduling some focus groups to potentially stress-test your excellent idea', explained McBride after a polite email from Mitch two weeks after the meeting to see if his suggestion had been followed through on.


'The Location of the meeting?’, continued McBride. ‘To be confirmed once the issue stops moving in the very long grass I've just kicked it into'.




bottom of page