top of page
Search

Crowdfunding fails

ree

What are the worst things to see on a crowdfunding site - the one's that are so misguided and wrong, and that no-one in their right mind is ever going to give money to? We asked our correspondents for their thoughts – and here they are...


Fundraising for the undeserving


  • Help out of work celebrities reverse their awful Botox


  • Give Elon Musk his $288m back (refunding his support for the Trump campaign in 2024)


  • The re-elect Liz Truss campaign


  • The Colorado Beetle appreciation society


  • Lets buy Meghan a damehood, and James Corden a knighthood


  • I need £100k to win back my gambling debts of £200k


  • Help fund Prince Andrew's legal costs


  • Plausible deniability training for tax evaders


Fundraising for pointless things


  • Return the Mary Rose to the sea-bed


  • More bat tunnels for HS2


  • Restart manufacture of black & white telly's


  • Invent the room darkening light bulb


  • Expand the network of wasp nests to discourage picnics


  • Acting lessons for footballers to enable them to feign injury more convincingly


  • Amplifiers to be fitted to grunting tennis players


  • Boris Johnson: The Movie


Fundraising for things that sound very risky


  • Funding to cross-breed the Chihuahua and Saint Bernard


  • Scuba diving for COPD sufferers


  • Prophet Muhammed drawing classes


  • Campaign for even more ultra processed food


  • Help foreign powers build new and better Covid variants


Fundraising for things that are just weird and alarming


  • Arse of Boris Johnson, facing France, to be carved into White Cliffs of Dover


  • Get a comments section stitched onto the end of the Bayeux tapestry.


  • Provide free hanky's to go with every panky


  • Volume two of David Cameron's memoirs


  • Help fund the banning of crowdfunding



Writing credits: contributions from deskpilot, will, sinnick, rowly, FlashArry, midfield diamond, james_doc

Picture credit: Wix AI


Experts criticise Meghan’s wine

ree

Meghan launched her £22-a-bottle rosé this month, and it has already sold out.


Experts have criticised Meghan’s exclusive wine, saying that it is just a blend of familiar wines that they have experienced before, and that it is too high-pitched, too entitled, and an unpleasant assault on the ears.


‘It’s really a one-note wine,’ said one sommelier. ‘There is no depth or sophistication to it, it’s just really in your face. The wine is the same every time. The best approach to Meghan's wine is to keep your own mouth shut and put your fingers in your ears.


‘If only Meghan would do the same.’



Picture credit: Wix AI

bottom of page