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In yet another scandal set to rock the much vaunted moral foundations of the Sussex’s business team, it has been revealed that the women who make lunch for the workers who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan Markle’s ‘ethical’ £700 handbag range get paid as little as 5p an hour and no more than 9p, with that sum only going to childless night shift workers who don’t require batch-bussing to the isolated plant.


In an investigation requiring just two phone calls, one of the women who makes the lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags who gets paid 5p an hour said, ‘It’s true. The women who make the lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags get paid 5p an hour.’


Shockingly, some of the women who make lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags who get paid 5p an hour are as young as 16 years old. One reported anonymously, ‘The women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags are usually older but some of the women who make the lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags who get paid 5p an hour are as young as 16.’


Meghan Markle refused to comment directly, but a representative of her office rejected the suggestion that the women who make the lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags get paid 5p an hour. ‘It is not true that the women who make the lunch for the women who get paid 10p an hour to make Meghan’s £700 handbags get paid 5p an hour.’


Next story: WIN one of Meghan’s £700 ethical handbags!





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A spokesman for Meghan Markle admitted today that a photo of her and Prince Harry had been edited before being released to news agencies.


The picture, taken during the couple’s famous interview with Oprah Winfrey, clearly implies that the ginger milksop has a spine and is able to sit upright unaided.


'It was never our intention to deceive anyone,” said Markle’s social media manager. “I simply tried to remove the image of Megan’s hand in the middle of Harry’s back, as it looked like she was working his mouth throughout the interview.


'Which obviously is garbage. He was so completely broken and emasculated by then, Megan wouldn’t even need to be in the room to guarantee he’d only say whatever she wanted.'


He also denied editing out Harry’s left hand in broadcast footage of the interview, which some have claimed was repeatedly tapping out “Please help me” in Morse code.

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